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Unbecoming

by Vyva Melinkolya

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1.
if everything i’d ever need, and everyone i love pulled away from underneath, pouring out like blood who’s to say, what force at play? leaving isn’t easy, staying’s twice the harm everyone is begging me,why does it go so far? who’s to say, why would you stay?
2.
I65 06:11
not the kind that you’d like, to come back in it’s alright, i know the vibe you wanna drive, I want to die, is that alright? will we survive? I65, it’s in the eyes, it’s in the eyes when hands become the thighs it feels alright, you’ve seen the eyes to the world, i’m a snake, but to you I’m just your dog god, why did you make me tall? wanna be small, nothing at all I65 it’s in your eyes, it’s in our eyes you wanna die, i wanna die now that’s a vibe, is that a vibe? look into my eyes and tell me im, your ride or die
3.
the stars, they’re not enough not enough, i want them to fall maybe i’d be happy, i need it to be happy after all bright colors, wear them for you bright colors, and that dress you want wasting every wish on you and dye my dresses black to blue i wish you knew my flesh then we’d be so happy, i’d make you fucking happy after all stars don’t fall no they don’t, not at all after all
4.
will i make it into heaven? will i make it to 27? something to rely on, someone to get high on are we feeling something now? am i that girl? tell me i’m a queen, tell me i’m miss world all things for the taking, all hearts for the breaking it’s not so bad, the magic’s gone it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad i feel like death will we make it into heaven? will we make it to 27? we need something to rely on, we need someone to get high on
5.
Whimper 05:25
in the wake, you’re out at sea you know where to find me, where animals are dying and when you said the face is the best part something stirred inside me, something stirs inside me and i would close my eyes, till your gaze reaches mine when you said it hurts baby, something stirred inside me everything confounds you, in crying in the backroom and when your eyes locked hands with mine something stirred inside you, rolled them said fuck you spending all your time, boulder in the tide i’d i’d waste my whole life, to be a spectral bride standing in your wake, standing by the lake standing in your wake, standing by the lake standing in your wake, standing by the lake standing in your wake, standing by the lake
6.
Spiders 06:00
are you the last, to make it feel this kind of way? are you the last? because i’ll never see the day The world is ending, all alone, does it hit too close to home and i see spiders on the wall it’s not your skin, it’s not your flesh are we the last? i’m i the spider on the wall? close to the bone, how at some show you broke your nose because it hits too close to home the world is over, i’m the last, when the curtain hits the cast and you’re so tired, of seeing spiders on the wall it’s not your skin, it’s not your flesh are we the last? and i’m so tired, of spinning webs up on your wall it hurts when i’m sleeping it hurts when i’m dreaming your bar fight, a big knife you let in, a cold light (not your skin, not your flesh) it’s hurts when we’re sleeping (not your skin, not your flesh) it hurts when we’re dreaming your bar fight, my big knife we let in, a cold ligh
7.
8.
222 06:48
see me in the stream, water to my knees thats where im breathing, thats where im bleeding remember the eyes that want me to die moon is sharp like the edge of a knife my legs in the water i will not falter the shape of a woman the shape of the water the shape of a woman the shape of the water see me on the screen, spread apart my knees im always feeling, im always healing devil comes at night, rapes me in my dreams hes always screaming, im always kneeling nobody will drown in the tears ive cried i look at my knife think i want it/him to die my legs in the water i will not falter the shape of a woman the shape of the water the shape of a woman the shape of the water the shape of the image, forgive me father was made in her image, the moon is my mother the shape of the image, the moon is my mother
9.
Tinsley Song 06:22
somewhere i can’t see, looking down on me you’re rolling your eyes, laughing with your teeth there’s no way your not an angel now violet flower growing from the ground eyes of green, child of the sea can you feel this love? reaching up above somewhere i can’t see, you feel beautiful you’re a butterfly, you’re the ocean breeze there’s no way you’re not an angel now paper lantern drifting through the clouds eyes of green, child of the sea can you feel our love? reaching up above eyes of green, child of the sea you’re a butterfly, drifting through the breeze
10.
Safe 06:17
thought i found a place, unknown to you can i show you? thought i found the space, do i know you? do i know you? tell me it’s safe, can you show me how you know me? tell me i’m safe i don’t know you, i dont know you where’s your place? where’s my place? in a cave, outer space in a cave, outer space in a cave, outer space

about

written Dec 2019-November 2020
recorded Oct 2020-Summer 2022 at the following locations in Louisville:
the Logan Street studio
the studio at OK Storage
Angel's House
recorded and mixed by Chyype Crosby
Mastered by Matthew Tomasi in Toronto CA
additional recording by Angel Diaz

Angel: Vocals, Guitar, Piano, Lapsteel, Samples
Chyype: Drums, Bass
Additional vocals by: Madeline Johnston, Kennedy Ashlynn, Hayden Anhedonia
Spoken words parts by Delilah Famina and Moth Magdalene (reading The Irish Blessing)

Dedicated to survivors of intimate partner violence, for God
and for Tinsley

credits

released November 9, 2023

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Vyva Melinkolya Louisville, Kentucky

Devastating, Ethereal music for The Well and The Weeper. Vyva Melinkolya is Angel Diaz
“Orbweaving” LP with Midwife out on The Flenser

www.facebook.com/vyvamelinkolya/

First LP (2014):
evictionrecords.bandcamp.com/album/son-of-eve
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